Adventures of Walter

Meet Walter.  Walter is a mean, grumpy, grumbling, complaining old man that lives inside of my stomach.  Walter is my appetite.  Walter is my inner fat kid.  Walter loves all food except for coconut.  He will promptly reject coconut.  Sometimes I feed him one thing and he just yells at me because he really wanted something else.  Sometimes, I lay in bed at night and there is an unmistakable grumble.  It’s Walter and he wants a midnight snack.  But he’s not all bad.  Sometimes we make deals, like during races.  I say “I don’t like this any more than you, but for the next 17 hours, we’re going to just eat gels and maybe a few bites of real food.  I promise after it’s over, I’ll give you whatever you want.”.  Walter’s a reasonable guy, so that usually works.  Sometimes he speaks his mind during runs though and all I hear is “ershskdhf,,ahgkha,dg,agnlkadg” coming from my stomach for miles and miles.  It’s no biggie, it’s just me being reprimanded because Walter doesn’t loooooove runner astronaut food as much as he likes things like ice cream and bacon.  In the end, we get along mostly because I can still maintain my girlish figure even with Walter’s demands.  I figure the day will come when we have to grease the doorways to get me out of the room, but until that day comes, bring on all the foods.  #walter #innerfatkid #gimmieallthegluten

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